Genderqueer (of the “neutral”/”indifferent” variety) Aspie here. I went through a fairly long thought process about labelling, that parallels yours in quite a few ways.

An article i found very helpful and sense-making when i was just beginning to self-identify as on the spectrum and wondering whether to seek diagnosis or not: http://mjane.zolaweb.com/label.html (most of the rest of the stuff on her website i found highly illuminating as well…)

Also there seem to be quite a few people on the transmasculine spectrum who are also on the AS spectrum as well (one who comes to mind: http://queerpup.livejournal.com)

anyway, i hope you keep blogging, and i’ll bookmark your blog…

The autistic community has a word for “weirdos who could be on the autistic spectrum” but who, for whatever reason, may not fit into a specific ASD diagnosis. That word is “cousin.” As Jim Sinclair wrote in “History of A[utism] N[etwork] I[nternational]:

“Another development during the 1993 conference was the recognition of a new segment of the ANI community, and the adoption of a new term to refer to it. One of the people who had been corresponding with ANI members online, and was attending this conference to meet with us in person for the first time, was not autistic. He had hydrocephalus, another congenital neurological abnormality. In our online discussions he had been noticing many similarities between his experiences and characteristics as a person with hydrocephalus, and the experiences and characteristics of autistic people. At the conference he met Kathy, who was not online at the time and did not know who he was. He introduced himself to her, explaining that he was interested in exploring similarities between himself and autistic people. He briefly summarized the effects of hydrocephalus in his life. Kathy considered this for a moment, and then warmly exclaimed ‘Cousin!’ (Cousins, 1993). From that time on, the term “cousin” has been used within ANI to refer to a non-autistic person who has some other significant social and communication abnormalities that render him or her significantly ‘autistic-like.’ The broader term ‘AC,’meaning ‘autistics and cousins,’ emerged soon afterward.”

“Cousin” also includes people who have characteristics of autism, but who don’t feel they “substantially limit major life activities.”